Real Madrid 6-1 Deportivo La Coruna – No-one is crapping themselves about awful Depor

“One day a team is going to pay for all the chances we are missing.” - Jose Mourinho, September 2010.

It didn’t take long for that day to come. Deportivo La Coruña turned up at the Bernabeu just weeks after Mourinho’s bold assessment of his team and, over the course of ninety minutes, put in a performance so unfathomably limp it prompted their own manager to describe them as “the worst team in the league.”

To be perfectly honest, Miguel Ángel Lotina’s verdict on his team is hard to argue with. Deportivo were truly woeful. Comfortably the worst team I’ve seen in La Liga this season. Real Madrid had only scored 6 goals in their opening 5 league games, a statistic that had seen Mourinho’s style of football come in for criticism in recent weeks. Mourinho argued that his Real Madrid were a work in progress, and that chances were being created but not taken (hence his opinion that someone would soon be in for a battering).

But in truth, this battering was less down to a scintillating performance from Real Madrid and more down to the worrying ineptitude of Deportivo. The hallmarks of teams that have already taken points off Real this season – Levante, Real Mallorca and, nearly, Osasuna – were hard work, commitment to run and press and chase and, to at least some degree, a gameplan. Deportivo offered none of the above. The lack of pressing when not in possession was painful. Depor offered Cristiano Ronaldo, Mesut Özil, Angel di Maria and co the freedom of the Bernabeu when on the ball. Inevitably the hosts made them pay.

It took just three minutes for Real Madrid to open the scoring and calm the nerves brought about by the previous week’s disappointing 0-0 draw with Levante. Mourinho had described Ronaldo as one of his “untouchables” prior to the match, and his fellow compatriot showed why early on when he rose high to head home from a corner. In the glistening Madrid rain Real had begun the match with real intent in their play, passing the ball about purposefully. The early goal came as no surprise.

Given his time in Manchester, perhaps Ronaldo enjoys playing in the rain. Here he was vibrant throughout, without being on top form. His two goals bookended the match, the second in the 89th minute with the score at 5-1. The Portuguese international was also involved in two other goals, including the comedy of errors that was Real’s fifth.

He and Marcelo seem to get on well together (far better than him and Higuain certainly). Here they bungled up an attempted one-two in the box, but the ball bobbled around comically before Ze Castro bundled it into his own net to make it 5-0. As the ball trickled in Ze Castro, crestfallen in the rain, sported a look on his face as if to say ‘end this farce now.’ Six minutes later he limped off injured, although you wonder if he didn’t just use injury as a reason to excuse himself from the whole sorry mess.

Lotina spoke a lot about his team “lacking confidence” after the game and it certainly showed. Deportivo’s squad value is worth around €13 million Euros, 26 times less than that of Real’s, and they hadn’t scored a goal in open play all season prior to their Bernabeu trip. You might forgive them for looking at it as a hopeless task. Nevertheless the lack of energy, dynamism, commitment and overall unwillingness to at least close their opponents down and reduce the space told of a team with very real problems. Andres Guardado, so impressive last season, plodded around like he couldn’t be bothered.

As for Real Madrid, things look a lot rosier than they did one week ago. Although they did concede their first goal at the Bernabeu under Mourinho, six goals is the sort of output Real fans have come to expect. They were rewarded with a shower of goals here. Mourinho’s name was sung from the terraces at one point, and goals for Higuain, Ronaldo, Di Maria and Özil – his first for the club – will add to the confidence of a forward line that is still being tweaked and improved.

Mourinho even found time to give his first debut to a canterano – Academy product – with the introduction of Juan Carlos in the 78th minute. His call-up to the squad, ahead of Pedro Leon who is seriously in Mourinho’s bad books, was such a surprise that his seat in the dressing room was by the fire extinguishers. There was nowhere else for him to get ready. “Mourinho asked me if I was crapping myself,” Juan Carlos told the press afterwards. “I told him ‘no’ and so he sent me to warm up.”

Not even a 20-year-old cantera graduate on his debut is scared of Deportivo these days.

(pic via Alva Chien on Flickr)

Cristiano Ronaldo, Deportivo la Coruña, Jose Mourinho, Juan Carlos, Real Madrid, Spanish Primera Division