Arsenal – ‘B’, Everton – ‘D’, Hull City – ‘Must Do Better’: Premier League 09/10 Mid-Term Report

by Marshall Norbal

With the Premier League season now past the halfway point, let’s review via the good old school grading system who are teacher’s pets with top marks and who is staying behind for detention.

Arsenal

Vast improvement and looking like this year they can mount a title bid, but need to kept first team members fit such as Fabregas, Arshavin, Gallas and Vermaelen. Van Persie is a huge loss to The Gunners who really need to buy another striker in January. If they’re going to win the league it will be by a low points total courtesy of teams beating each other.

Grade: B
Teacher’s Pet: Arshavin, Fabregas and Vermaelen, so far very good this season.
Detention: Theo Walcott for always being injured.

Aston Villa

Carrying on from how they started last season. A team who prefer to play counter-attacking football then breaking and wearing teams down. In the hunt for a top four spot and in a semi-final of the Carling Cup. Comparisons will be drawn to their form in the second half of last season and judging by The Late Late show with Fernando Torres in their last home game, it could be a valid point.

Grade: B
Teacher’s Pet: James Milner and Richard Dunne, one will be at the World Cup, the other should be.
Detention: Emile Heskey, need games and goals to get to South Africa and isn’t getting either.

Birmingham City

Tipped to go down at the start of the season and now currently the form team in the Premier League, winning 6 of their last 9 games only conceding 5 goals in the process, with currently the best centre-half pairing in the country (Scott Dann and Roger Johnson). 7 more points from safety – should be thinking about a top 10 finish.

Grade: A
Teacher’s Pet: Scott Dann, Roger Johnson and Joe Hart to name a few!
Detention: Detention not needed, class dismissed!

Blackburn Rovers

Survival is the key for Big Sam’s boys; they struggle to score goals and missed the creative flair of David Dunn while he was out injured. Upfront Di Santo, McCarthy and Roberts aren’t getting the supply from midfield and are not the type of strikers that create something from nothing. Still in with a shout of winning a trophy.

Grade: D
Teacher’s Pet: David Dunn for providing the only real quality within the squad capable of picking a tight defence.
Detention: Blackburn’s strike force of McCarthy and Roberts for not scoring enough goals. Di Santo to stand in the corner and face the wall!

Bolton Wanderers

This is a team in real trouble this season; seem to have lost the fear factor that was around playing Bolton under Big Sam. Subsequently Gary Megson was given the ‘elbow’ recently. Defensively Bolton are shocking, leaking more goals than a burst water mains! Upfront other than Klasnic (who has only recently been showing some decent form) they’re not offering much else. Bottom three this season.

Grade: E
Teacher’s Pet: Matt Taylor – shows enough endeavour and drive to be a key player for Bolton’s chances of survival (he’s been through it before with Portsmouth).
Detention: The defence – no clean sheets this season!

Burnley

Great start to the season and very much the league’s surprise package. However, poor away form (only 1 point all season) has a sniff of Hull 2008-09 – relying on their home form will put more pressure on them than a Dyson vacuum. Make no mistake, these boys are in real trouble unless they start picking up points on the road.

Grade: C
Teacher’s Pet: Steven Fletcher, Graham Alexander and Chris Eagles, all adapted well to the Premier League.
Detention: Owen Coyle for leaving, with time a bigger club than Bolton would come after his services.

Chelsea

New manager, top of the Premier League, but not all’s happy at The Bridge. On their day the Cheese Rolls are the best in the business, they really are, but defensively even with JT they have problems. Cech is at Checkmate in goal, they are susceptible to the high ball and in midfield they have less width than Kate Moss’s waist! Still favourites to win the title but January will be an acid test without Drogba, Kalou and Essien due to African Nations.

Grade: A
Teacher’s Pet: Didier Drobga – Scored two of the classiest goals you will see this season against Arsenal, one of the best in the world and will be missed on ANC duty.
Detention: Petr Cech has lost his awe over the last few seasons, which is unsettling the back four. Jon Obi Mikel simply flatters to deceive, Man United are not missing out!

Everton

Sticky season so far for The Toffees, hampered by injuries in key positions – Jagie
lka, Arteta, Yakubu and Osman to name a few – and a poor start to the season, especially at home. Forget about last season’s dizzy heights, with little money to spend Moyes and Co. need to tough it out and allow key squad members to return. Got more than enough to stay in the league, and could get a run together in the Europa League to give their fans a few exotic away days.

Grade: D
Teacher’s Pet: Tim Howard – week in week out performs at a high consistent level, despite the poor season for the team so far. England you have been warned.
Detention: Marouane Fellaini hasn’t found the form that won him many plaudits last season. With the likes of Arteta soon to be back that could change quickly.

Fulham

Playing out of their skin at the moment, good free flowing football; very attack minded and in Bobby Zamora a striker who is showing the form that got him the move to Tottenham from Brighton. Damien Duff is looking like his old self, top 7 finish on the cards, maybe time for a cup run, and in Roy Hodgson a worthy contender for manager of the season.

Grade: A-
Teacher’s Pet: Clint Dempsey, showing that he is a real class act, scores goals and is a quality passer. Bobby Zamora gets a shout for his recent form too.
Detention: Diomansy Kamara – put simply he is a frustrating talent and needs to do more.

Hull City

The plea for Tigers’ fans would be ‘save our Jimmy Bullard’. It’s that simple, with him in their team they will stay up, without him Hull struggle. A plucky result against Bolton, but Hull struggle to score goals and lack a creative flair that only Bullard gives them. If they stay up it will be by the skin of their teeth…..again.

Grade: E
Teacher’s Pet: Jimmy Bullard – played only 4 full games but Hull remained unbeaten with him in the team until he got injured vs. Aston Villa. Deserves teacher’s pet for the celebration against Man City.
Detention: Jozy Altidore hasn’t scored for Hull this season and is struggling to adjust in the Premier League.

What grades Liverpool, Manchester City, United and the rest of the class? See here for the next batch of mid-term reports.

Arsenal, Aston Villa, Blackburn Rovers, Bolton Wanderers, Chelsea, English Premier League, Everton, Fulham