Bolivia 6-1 Argentina – This Is No April Fools Joke

When I received a text message earlier this evening informing me that Bolivia had beaten Argentina 6-1, I replied with short shrift. ‘April Fools day is over,’ came my curt riposte. ‘Haha’ I thought, ‘no-one is going to hoax me on this day.’

But, incredibly, it really happened. Bolivia, ranked 56th in the world really did beat, bruise and humiliate the mighty Argentina, who sit 50 places above them according to FIFA, by six goals to one. Pfft, what do FIFA know about football anyway?

There was a surreal moment during this extraordinary match, played at dizzying altitude in La Paz, when at 5-1 every Bolivian pass was greeted with a rampant outburst of ‘oles’ from the exuberant home crowd. Juan Pena’s short pass to Didi Torrico leaves Lionel Messi flat-footed. ‘Oleeee!’ Torrico shifts it wide, Javier Mascherano huffing and puffing lethargically on the chase. ‘Oleeeeeee!’ Ronald Rivero calmly shepherds the ball to Ronald Garcia and Fernando Gago closes down so slowly that were it up to him Woolworths would still be in business. ‘Oleeeeeeeee!’ You almost felt sorry for these Argentine superstars, so helpless did they look, so gleefully were they mocked. They only had themselves to blame though. They really were that bad.

You might also reserve a degree of sympathy for their new coach, one Diego Maradona. This was only Maradona’s second competitive fixture in charge of Argentina, and it ended with the man they refer to as ‘God’ sitting impotently on the sidelines, stunned into meek silence.

Already he has now overseen the joint largest defeat in Argentina’s history, equalling the 6-1 beating they took from Czechoslovakia back in the 1958 World Cup. As honeymoon periods go, this one is over before the happy couple have even made it to their hotel room. ‘Every goal was like a stab to the heart’ Maradona lamented afterwards.

To look at the result without seeing the game, one might attempt to explain defeat with either of two arguments – that Argentina must, surely, have fielded a weakened side out of complacency, or the altitude.

Well, Argentina’s starting lineup was as follows: Juan Carrizo, Javier Zanetti, Gabriel Heinze, Emiliano Papa, Martin Demichelis, Maxi Rodriguez, Javier Mascherano, Lucho Gonzalez, Fernando Gago, Lionel Messi and Carlos Tevez. That puts paid to the weakened team argument.

Maradona had actually altered his attacking 3-4-3 system from the 4-0 win over Venezuela out of caution, deciding to sacrifice Sergio Aguero in exchange for an extra defender. The change did little to strengthen Argentina’s backline though, and the defending was absolutely atrocious. Emiliano Papa was particularly bad, so too Gabriel Heinze, and Bolivia might feasibly have made it into double figures had they made more of a number of other chances.

The second potential excuse, one with which FIFA may look to try and exploit this result for their own gains, is that of altitude. At 3,600 metres above sea level, was the thin air of La Paz partly responsible for Argentina’s clearly jaded performance?

Possibly. FIFA had previously announced a ban on games being played at an altitude of over 2,500 metres. However, under enormous pressure from many South American countries they soon relented and reversed the decision, albeit reluctantly. Such a heavy defeat for Argentina at altitude might give Sepp Blatter the ammunition he needs to press further on the subject.

Nonetheless, Maradona did not use the high altitude as an excuse. Indeed, back in 2008 the Argentina legend actually took part in a charity match in La Paz alongside Bolivian president Evo Morales to protest against the FIFA ban. ‘You have the right to play where you were born. That cannot be decided neither by God nor much less by Blatter,’ Maradona famously stated back then. A more dishonest manager might have seized on this ready-made opportunity with which to apportion blame for a 6-1 defeat. Not Diego.

And though the subject is bound to arise after such a shock result, altitude was not responsible for the vastly experienced Zanetti conceding a needless penalty with a ridiculously rash challenge at 1-1. Nor for Angel Di Maria’s stupid sending off just six minutes after coming on as a substitute. Thin air cannot be blamed for such foolish decision making.

In the aftermath, the Argentine press will find it uncomfortable to steam into a team guided by their idol Maradona. For that reason, the inevitable criticism might lack a certain bite that other managers in a similar situation would unquestionably receive. Still, Ole could only describe the 6-1 loss as ‘humiliation down to the very last letter.’ It is going to be tough to dissect this shambles without wounding the pride of ‘El Diez.’

‘We have to give merit to Bolivia who were better than us in every part of the field,’ Maradona stated. The comment is an understatement. Bolivia were superb value for their famous win, superior to Argentina in every single respect.

Though they still sit second bottom of the CONMEBOL qualifiers with little chance of making it to South Africa 2010, this result will almost certainly never be forgotten by their passionate public. For just a moment, however brief, they emerged from the shadows of their superpower neighbours and stepped triumphantly into the limelight.

For with this incredible result Bolivia, like the condor that is their national mascot, soared into the skies of the world’s conscience with immense grace.

Argentina, Bolivia, FIFA, Maradona, World Cup 2010